Running time approximately 1+ hours.
A bright and breezy play adapted from the first Dr Dolittle book. Large cast of animals, of course! Plus pirates and African royalty!
Dr John Dolittle is a very good doctor but his bedside manner is somewhat lacking. This is because he really would rather be dealing with animals! He achieves his ambition of being able to talk to all sorts of creatures, with the help of a parrot called Polynesia and an invention called a Rotalsnart. When a swallow comes to tell him that monkeys in Africa are suffering from a terrible disease, he embarks on a thrilling adventure with his animal companions.
The play has 7 recommended songs but they are entirely optional. Links are given for backing tracks and YouTube videos for rehearsal purposes.
28 speaking parts, non-speaking can easily be added.
As with all our plays, there are full production notes that give advice on scenery, costumes, sound effects and props.
NO ROYALTIES. PHOTOCOPYING LICENCE INCLUDED.
Here’s a sample
SCENE 1. The Angry Patient
The setting is a farmhouse kitchen (SEE PRODUCTION NOTES) As lights go up, an instrumental version of ‘TALK TO THE ANIMALS’ is playing. It gradually fades. Enter SARAH D.
SARAH D
Good afternoon everyone. Please allow me to introduce myself. My name is Sarah Dolittle, and I’m here to tell you about my brother John. I’ve a friend who has agreed to help me. But I must warn you, you’re in for a bit of a shock.
(Enter POLYNESIA)
This is Polynesia, and as you can see, she’s a parrot. But she’s no ordinary parrot, oh no! There’s something very special about Polynesia.
POLYNESIA
Let me help you explain Sarah. Look! Some of them have already realised!
SARAH D
For those of you a bit slow on the uptake, haven’t you noticed yet? Polynesia can really talk! Not just repeating – goodness me, I nearly said ‘parrot fashion!’
POLYNESIA
But I’m a bit touchy about that! We’re talking real conversation here, not ‘Who’s a cheeky boy?’ or ‘Wotcher doing?’ Proper conversation like, between two equals, each continuing and developing the ideas being discussed.
SARAH D
I know for some of you that’s very hard to believe, and even harder to understand, but it’s true! And my brother knows the secret!
POLYNESIA
And it’s true for all animals! They can communicate with each other, but the grunts, howls, clucks and miaows just sound like animal noises to humans.
SARAH D
It’s one of those shortcomings that people have unfortunately. They think they’re intelligent, the superior race here on earth, but they’re very much mistaken.
POLYNESIA
Some might say mistaken – I would say deluded.
SARAH D
You see what I mean about proper conversation. She has such an extensive vocabulary! Polly here can converse with the best of them!
POLYNESIA
Look, I’ve told you this before! Don’t call me ‘Polly’!
SARAH D
Yes, I’m sorry. But humans often shorten names. It’s a sign of affection. I do apologise Poly…. nesia.
POLYNESIA
Now this conversation is meandering close to the pointless. We are getting nowhere.
SARAH D
Yes, thank you, I’d almost forgotten. My brother John….
POLYNESIA
Or to give him his full title – Doctor John Dolittle, M.D.
SARAH D
As some of you may know, the ‘M.D.’ letters after his name refer to his qualifications as a doctor. Look, here he is now! With a patient!
(Enter DOLITTLE followed by a Human PATIENT. He takes a chair from the table, puts it centre stage and motions the PATIENT to sit.)
POLYNESIA
Oh, dear! I’ve seen her before. The patient is a rather grumpy old lady with terrible rheumatism. I’ll perch in the corner, keep out of the way.
SARAH D
I’ll join you. We’ll both sit quietly and listen, and (to audience) you will begin to understand what the problem is.
DOLITTLE
Ah, yes, Mrs…
PATIENT
Miss, if you don’t mind. I’ve been your patient for long enough now for you to remember who I am.
DOLITTLE
(Sighs) How could I ever forget?
PATIENT
And I expect you to remember exactly what is wrong with me.
DOLITTLE
But you have a long list of ailments, sometimes something new, sometimes an
ailment from the past which has chosen to revisit you.
PATIENT
Well today, it’s rheumatism.
DOLITTLE
Rheumatism?
PATIENT
That’s right, rheumatism. And it’s giving me some gyp, I can tell you.
DOLITTLE (Listens to her chest with his stethoscope)
Gyp? That’s the name of my dog!
PATIENT
Don’t you know anything? You’re supposed to be qualified! Gyp! Extreme pain! Normal levels of discomfort I can put up with, but this time it’s agony doctor, and I want you to do something about it.
DOLITTLE
I’m afraid that the pain in your joints is all too common….
PATIENT
What did you say? Common? I’ve never had anything common. My father was a church minister you know. We’ve never been common.
DOLITTLE
You misunderstand me. I’m sorry. What I was going to say, before you interrupted, is that rheumatism is common for people of your age.
PATIENT
So now you tell me that it’s my age?!
DOLITTLE
I didn’t mean I like that.
PATIENT
I didn’t come here to be insulted!
DOLITTLE
(Aside) Where do you normally go?
PATIENT
I came here hoping for something to ease the pain.
DOLITTLE
On reflection, it may be that you are suffering from a rare condition called rheumatoid arthritis, caused by an inflammation in your joints.
PATIENT
Now that sounds a lot better. Rheumatoid arthritis…. a rare condition….
DOLITTLE
Caused by inflammation….
PATIENT
That’s definitely an ailment more in keeping with my status.
DOLITTLE
I can’t offer much in terms of pain relief, I’m afraid. Just take aspirin, two tablets, four times a day might help.
PATIENT
Is that it? Have you nothing better to offer than that? What about all these expensive new drugs I keep reading about?
DOLITTLE
Well you could try rubbing the affected parts with dock leaves.
PATIENT
And will that help?
DOLITTLE
They work on nettle stings, so you never know.
PATIENT
I’m not sure you’re taking me seriously. In any case, I will not be returning as a patient. I have lost all confidence in your ability, doctor, and I wish you good day. Oh, and whilst I remember, when I sat down in the waiting room, I sat on
a hedgehog!
DOLITTLE
That is unfortunate. That would be Spike. I do hope the hedgehog has not been harmed. It could have been quite a traumatic experience.
PATIENT
It certainly was!
DOLITTLE
I meant for the hedgehog.
PATIENT
Well, that about sums it up! Good day!
(Exit PATIENT. DOLITTLE puts the chair back by the table)
SARAH D (to the audience)
You understand the problem now. My brother is a wonderful doctor, but his bedside manner is not very good.
POLYNESIA (to the audience)
And then there’s the animals. They’re all over the house.
SARAH D (to the audience)
There are fish in the pond, chickens in the barn, and rabbits in the shed – all perfectly normal.
POLYNESIA (to SARAH D)
But there are mice in the piano and a squirrel in the airing cupboard.
SARAH D (agreeing)
Not to mention the hedgehog in the waiting room, a cow and her calf, a sheep that’s lame…
POLYNESIA
Some pigeons, two lambs and a duck, a dog, a pig, an owl, not forgetting me, Polynesia! I’m his favourite you know.
DOLITTLE (coming up to SARAH D)
Sarah…you saw Mrs thingummy, whatever her name is?
SARAH D
She was a Miss, John. She had to remind you who she was and what was wrong with her.
DOLITTLE
I’d have been happier if she’d given me a miss altogether. There’s nothing much wrong with her apart from hypochondria.
SARAH D
But don’t you see John, that’s the problem. You’re not very good with people.
POLYNESIA
But you are wonderful with animals. Can you explain that?
DOLITTLE
It’s quite simple really. I like animals much better than people.
SARAH D
How can you expect sick people to visit you with all the animals in the house?
POLYNESIA
Sick people pay the rent Doctor. Soon you’ll have no patients left.
DOLITTLE
And that will suit me just fine!
(Exit POLYNESIA and enter DAB DAB AND PIGGY)
PIGGY
There’s a big van in the yard!
DAB DAB
It’s the delivery of pet food you’ve been waiting for!
(Enter DELIVERY MAN/WOMAN with a big tray of boxes, bags and tins.)
DELIVERY MAN/WOMAN
Good afternoon Doctor, and to you too Sarah. I’ve brought the pet food you ordered.
DOLITTLE
Just put it down anywhere. Can I pay you later?
DELIVERY MAN/WOMAN
It’s not the first time you’ve asked that Doctor.
DOLITTLE
I’m sorry. I’ve a bit of a cash flow problem at the minute. It is for the animals. Look at them!
(DAB DAB and PIGGY look suitably pathetic and whimper softly)
DELIVERY MAN
OK. I suppose so.
DOLITTLE
Look, if I sell the piano, I’ll be able to pay you.
SARAH D
You can’t sell the piano! What about the mice?
DELIVERY MAN
Mice? In the piano?
DOLITTLE
Take no notice of Sarah, it’s just her little joke. I’ll sell the piano and pay you
later if that’s all right?
DELIVERY MAN
Fine. But can I say something, give you some advice? You won’t take offence?
DOLITTLE
If you must.
SARAH D
Listen to him (her) John. He’s (She’s) only trying to be helpful.
DELIVERY MAN/WOMAN
I’ve noticed you’re not so good with people, but brilliant with animals, so why don’t you stop being a people doctor and concentrate on the animals. You seem to understand animals so much better than people.
SARAH D
This is such a good idea John. Animals like you. You know how they think. You could do this!
DELIVERY MAN/WOMAN
Think of all the people who would bring you their poorly pets. There’s such an
opportunity for you. That’s all I’m saying.
(Enter POLYNESIA)
POLYNESIA
I heard what he (she) said, Doctor. Not one of the vets round here has your special understanding of creatures.
SARAH D
John, you’ve got to try something. If we carry on like we are, we’ll have nothing left. After you’ve sold the piano, what’s next, all the furniture?
SONG 1. IF WE COULD TALK TO THE ANIMALS (Everyone on stage)
If we could talk to the animals, just imagine it
Chatting to a chimp in chimpanzee
Imagine talking to a tiger, chatting to a cheetah
What a neat achievement that would be.
If we could talk to the animals, learn their languages
Maybe take an animal degree.
We’d study elephant and eagle, buffalo and beagle,
Alligator, guinea pig, and flea.
We would converse in polar bear and python,
And we could curse in fluent kangaroo.