Running time approx. 1 hour.
Sherlock Holmes is a bit dim but, never mind, he has his highly intelligent sidekick, Dr Emma Watson, to help him out. Holmes’ old Headmaster asks the pair to investigate terrifying noises coming from the old Eggs Factory. They find out that the factory has been turned into a studio for a not-so-popular television talent show being run by a woman called Simone. The lack of talent on display is awful but, what is worse, the producers have a plan to rip the public off. This horror-themed show (great for Halloween but also good for any other time of the year) is daft and full of music and dancing. Will Holmes and Watson foil their dastardly plot? Of course they will!
11 SPEAKING PARTS BUT UNLIMITED SINGING AND DANCING CHORUS
Starry, Starry Night (Don Maclean)
Ghostbusters (Ray Parker Junior)
Egg’s Factory (to the tune of Old Macdonald) (Sung unaccompanied?)
You’re a Star (Carl Wayne)
Thriller (Michael Jackson)
Bad Moon Rising (Creedence Clearwater Revival)
The Monster Mash (Bobby Pickett)
Play With Fire (Rolling Stones)
The Great Pretender (Freddie Mercury)
Our scripts provide links to backing tracks for the songs, which can be purchased and downloaded for a very modest fee. As with all our plays, there are full production notes that give advice on scenery, costumes, and props.
NO ROYALTIES, PHOTOCOPYING LICENCE INCLUDED.
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PART OF SCENE 1
HOLMES (Sits up)
Watson, Watson! Are you awake?
I wasn’t Holmes, but I am now. What do you want? A girl needs her beauty sleep, you know.
It’s the moon.
Ignore it. Go back to sleep. Count sheep or something. (Lies down again)
The moon is keeping me awake, and as I couldn’t get to sleep, I’ve been lying here thinking.
WATSON (Sits up abruptly)
I’m not happy with you thinking Holmes. Thinking isn’t good for you, and it’s not good for me either.
I was just saying….
Look, Holmes, it’s the middle of the night. Stop thinking, there’s a good chap.
That moon, it’s an omen. I was just thinking that’s all. Random thoughts, that’s all.
If you really want something to think about, something important, tell me what you think when you lie back and look at the moon and the stars.
The stars? The stars in the dark, night sky? Why, it makes me think of the universe, how vast it is and how small we are. How insignificant we are in the whole scheme of things. That’s what it makes me think. How about you, Watson?
Well, I’m thinking nothing like that.
You’re not overwhelmed by the sheer majesty of this world we live in?
No. But I am puzzled, and slightly annoyed.
Something wrong, Watson, something troubling you?
WATSON (sitting up)
When I look at the night sky, Holmes, it makes me think that someone has stolen our tent!
PART OF SCENE 2
(Exit CHORUS. HOLMES and WATSON shuffle onstage, holding a portable window in front of them. They stand to one side of the stage. HOLMES is carrying a periscope (SEE PRODUCTION NOTES) and WATSON has a stethoscope around her neck.)
Well here we are at the Eggs Factory. We’ll hide by this window, but we mustn’t be seen.
There are some people coming!
(Enter – PRODUCER, both PRESENTERS and four JUDGES, who sit down and mime talking to each other.)
Don’t worry Watson. My magnifying glass, as well as being a telescope, can also be used as a periscope.
That’s a handy gadget, Holmes. Have a look. What can you see?
HOLMES (Scans audience with periscope)
Lots of mean looking characters. Not a pleasant sight, believe me! And there’s someone in a pink shirt!
You’re looking the wrong way, Holmes. That’s the audience. Look through the window. We want to know what’s going on inside the Eggs Factory.
Sorry. There’s a few people in there – looks like a meeting, but I can’t tell what they’re saying.
Ah, now that’s where my stethoscope comes in! If I place it against the glass, I can listen!
What a team! I look and you listen! We’ve got this espionage malarkey off to a fine art!
Ssssshhh! I think the meeting is about to begin! We need to be silent from now on.
Before we begin, I must stress how important secrecy is. Anyone seen Simone?
(Enter SIMONE in full witch’s costume, complete with broomstick, black hat and magic wand)
I see you’re getting into character already.
Be careful what you say, and that includes everybody! My black magic works you know – I’ve been practising! I even have a book – look! Spelling for Beginners.