Running time approx. 50mins.
Imagine some rich uncle had left you a cat in his will – while your brothers have been left a house and estate and a business. You’d think you’d been hard done by, wouldn’t you? BUT…this particular cat is amaaazing! He is super smart, talks, sings, dances – you name it. He promises his new master that he will make him into a wealthy man and he sets about making that promise come true. There are feral cats, disco dancing, vegetarian protests (? Our plays are nothing if not bizarre!) and even an OFSTED inspection (Office For Safety in Trickery, Evil and Devilment). Laugh? We promise you will.
29 SPEAKING PARTS, UNLIMITED SINGING/CHORUS PARTS. SOME PARTS COULD BE DOUBLED IF NECESSARY.
Suggested songs:
- Everybody Wants to be A Cat (from Aristocats)
- Take a Chance on Me (Abba)
- The Fast Food Song (Fast Food Rockers)
- Consider Yourself Our Mate (from Oliver!)
- Stayin’ Alive (Bee Gees)
- The Impossible Dream (from Man From La Mancha)
- Freedom (Sugababes)
- I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do (Abba)
Our scripts provide links to backing tracks for songs, which can be purchased and downloaded for a very modest fee. As with all our plays, there are full production notes that give advice on scenery, costumes, and props.
NO ROYALTIES, PHOTOCOPYING LICENCE INCLUDED.
Here’s a sample
Part of SCENE 1…
JOHN
What about me? Is there anything left for me?
LAWYER
Er…in a way.
JOHN
Like what?
LAWYER
Mr Groombridge left you his cat.
MATTHEW (laughing)
His cat! Ha, ha, ha!
PETER (also laughing)
Well that will make you rich won’t it? Ha, ha, ha.
LAWYER
Actually Mr Groombridge said that Master John – and I quote his very words – “should look after the cat well because it will make his fortune for him.”
JOHN (gloomily)
I thought you said he was in sound mind when he made this will. It sounds to me as though he was completely crazy! Whoever heard of a cat making someone a fortune?
PETER
Never mind, John. I expect we can offer you a job and you can certainly live in the big house with us.
JOHN
Thank you. Where is this cat, anyway?
(PUSS leaps out of hiding. Takes his hat off and bows to the three brothers.)
PUSS
At your service young master.
MATTHEW
A talking cat! Maybe he will make your fortune after all!
PETER
Yes, you could tour with a travelling circus!
PUSS
I am more value to you than that, master. How do you think your uncle got so rich?
JOHN
That was your doing?
PUSS
Of course.
JOHN
How?
PUSS
Oh, by wheeling and dealing, begging and borrowing, but never, ever by stealing. Your uncle’s lawyer will tell you.
LAWYER
The late Mr Groombridge did always insist that his good fortune was down to his cat. He was most insistent about that.
PETER
Did you not think that he might be mad?
LAWYER
Well he may have been mad but there is no denying he was very rich.
PUSS
What do you say? Why not take a chance on me?
SONG 2. Take A Chance On Me. (Everyone on stage)
JOHN
OK. I’m convinced. We’ll give it a go and see if you can make my fortune for me.
PUSS
You won’t regret it. There is only one thing I ask.
JOHN
What’s that?
PUSS
That you get me a pair of boots. I’ve always wanted a pair of boots.
JOHN
Would mine do?
PETER
You’re mad! You don’t have another pair of boots!
PUSS
They look perfect.
(JOHN takes off his boots and gives them to PUSS, who puts them on.)
JOHN
They fit really well.
MATTHEW
Can you hear yourself? You are talking to a cat and you’ve just given him your only pair of boots!
JOHN
He’s my cat and I’ll do what I like.
PETER
Mad. Completely off his rocker. Come on. Let’s leave the loony and his cat to get on with it.
MATTHEW
Don’t forget. There’s a bed in the house for you – if you want it. But just you – not the cat.
(PETER and MATTHEW leave)
Part of SCENE 3…
The King’s Palace.
The KING is sitting on his throne, looking very fed up. The QUEEN is sitting next to him and they are surrounded by courtiers. The CHAMBERLAIN is standing next to the thrones.
KING
I don’t know what we’re going to do, I really don’t.
QUEEN
Don’t upset yourself so much, my dear.
KING
I can’t help it. It’s the lack of meat that’s making me irritable!
CHAMBERLAIN
I can understand that, Your Majesty. I find myself craving a bacon sandwich every now and then.
KING
Oh for a chicken pie!
QUEEN
But you know how much that would upset our daughter, dear.
KING
Why are we being held to ransom by our own daughter? Do we not have a say in our own diets?
QUEEN
I don’t know what to say, dear. Ever since Princess Daisy became a strict vegetarian, life has changed around here, that’s for sure.
KING
But she’s our daughter! Why are we letting her tell us what to do?
QUEEN
Because she’s so bossy! You know that if we bring meat into the Palace she will have a hissy fit and all our lives will be made miserable!
KING
Couldn’t we just send out for a KFC Bargain Bucket and sneak it past her?
CHAMBERLAIN
Unfortunately, Your Majesty, the Princess has all the entrances and exits covered by her Vegetarian Club members. They are staging a protest today as well.
KING
What! Go and tell her to come in here at once! This is too much!
CHAMBERLAIN
Yes, Your Majesty.
(The CHAMBERLAIN leaves)
KING
I can’t live on celery! My stomach thinks my throat’s been cut!
QUEEN
I know dear. We all feel the same.
SONG : THE FAST FOOD SONG.